The Privilege of Circumstance
Sept 10, 2020: I’m winding up a 10-day business in Raleigh, NC, having traveled here to be three hours closer to Europe. Hardship or privilege?
Working for a fully remote European tech company I’m accustomed to virtual meetings, but virtual offsites are another thing entirely. Our quarterly offsites used to be in carefully selected European cities where we call flew in for some vigorous in-person ideation and team building. Enter COVID.
Our inaugural virtual offsite was spur-of-the-moment. We were supposed to be in Tel Aviv: March 3–14. Being the only US exec, I flew in first. While I was in the air, all hell broke loose. Italy became a hot zone and most of Europe recoiled. 14 of our 20 employees cancelled their trips. I stayed, convincing myself that the same time zone alignment was more important than my personal risk reduction. The week was surreal as Tel Aviv emptied of tourists and restaurant hosts starting questioning my recent provenance. I caved and returned to SF two days early.
For our 2nd virtual offsite, I stayed in SF: 1am-9am, ten days in a row. Hated it. So when this one came around, I opted once again for a more proximate time zone. By this point, Europe required that entering US citizens quarantine for two weeks. As did most East Coast states for California residents. Exception: North Carolina. So here I am, day nine.
Before I pack to go home, I want to unpack the title of this post. Many colleagues and friends have reacted to the above story with sympathy, as if this trip has been onerous. I find that comical, because I am acutely aware that every circumstance of this story reeks with privilege. I work in a great company with great people in an industry — language learning — that has not been negatively impacted by this crisis (if anything, quite the opposite). And I have worked remotely for years, so my work life has changed very little. One exception: these offsites. Yet, even here, I was able to make a choice of convenience. And though current travel constraints are fraught, they have also landed me in the state where I went to college and where the majority of my extended family lives. How on earth could I lament all this circumstantial privilege, and during a global pandemic no less.
Back to my travel log. Because my business day ends at noon, I’ve had the privilege of waxing nostalgic — roaming old haunts and visiting friends and family members I haven’t seen in decades. I’ve even eaten three times at Irregardless Café, the favorite restaurant of my now-deceased grandmother with whom I lived in college. The menu still includes her favorite dish noting that the recipe hasn’t changed since 1975. I mean, seriously, what semi-fine-dining restaurant remains open for 45 years?
I even feel privileged to be in a purple state interacting with mostly red-leaning family members and friends (not so common in my hometown of San Francisco). I’m particularly fascinated by the boating crowd. Touring Cape Fear with my cousins this weekend, I got to experience a Trumptilla first hand. Eye-opening is an understatement.
Which leads me to my final point in this rambling post. I’m fascinated by how divisive the word privilege has become. To me, my privilege is so obvious. Perhaps this is because, as an openly gay man, I abandoned a smidge of that privilege along the way. But only after I moved to SF and built a Silicon Valley resume. Only then I was “brave enough” to fully come out. Please — it wasn’t all that brave; it was relatively safe and convenient. Most people without privilege don’t have that option.
While on this trip, I’ve sensed a red belief that we blues use the term privilege to negate individualism and hard work. And this infuriates them. Even the purples cringe.
I personally don’t view privilege this way. I worked my tail off to get where I am, as did my parents — particularly my mother. But it’d be ludicrous to deny that being a white male in the South who came of age in the early 1980s did not have a privileged path to success. Just as ludicrous as it would be to view this inopportune business trip as a burden, when in fact, it’s anything but.
